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“Then I guess that’s- wait, what do you mean you aren’t available?”“Oh. Well, your future wife insisted on me to serve as joint maid-of-honor,” I explained.“Oh ... I see- ... no, wait, what the fuck?” Brent said, clearly baffled and shaking his head.I sighed. “Yeah. What the fuck, indeed, Brent. What the fuck, indeed.”- - - -Brent’s bachelor party was arranged first. Brent’s best-man Andre was a bit miffed at not being allowed to plan it but Jess convinced Brent that it would be in his, and the whole group’s, best interest to allow her to arrange the shin-dig. While it was a bit weird letting his girlfriend’s best friend arrange that sort of thing, he also knew that it would undoubtedly by exponentially more interesting if she did.Emma wholeheartedly agreed, knowing full well the kind of debauchery that would ensue. She wouldn’t be attending, of course. It wasn’t that Emma would disapprove of anything that would happen, just that the other attendees would no doubt feel awkward with. It was horrible and signaled another turning point for me. They wrote an address on a slip of paper and put me into a taxi. The taxi dropped me downtown and I followed the directions until I found the place. It was a tattoo parlor. I went in and they showed me a book. I was to be allowed to choose the first of my new set of tattoos. Yes, they'd decided that my body was going to be "decorated" again - everything except my face, neck, and hands. And again, areas of my body would be sold to the highest bidder on the internet, they would choose the words or image to be inscribed on my flesh, and the tattooing would be broadcast live.I'd cried all the way to the tattoo parlor and through the entire session. I chose a ribbon design with the words PROPERTY OF SAM and had it tattooed across the tender flesh of my mons pubis. Why not? I thought, watching the bearded man through tearful eyes. Maybe it would earn me some good grace from Sam in the future. So far, it hadn't.The last patch of.
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